Living with OCD

My name is Natasha,
i have suffered with OCD from a young age and recently sought the help i needed, I decided to share my story to help others or try to help in understanding it more.

CBT

So in CBT I got told to write down a list of every compulsion I could recall doing (it was a long list.) But then I had to put them in categories e.g. Cleaning, repeating, touching. After I put them in categories I had to list them under how anxiety provoking they where to me. Then slowly I would start by tackling the least anxiety provoking ones, taking a category at a time. It may seem like a lot of work but it massively helped.

Thought

The thing is, no matter how much someone says ‘they know what you’re going through’ they will never EXACTLY know 100%. They might know a lot but chances are they have never spent a day in your life and chances are they never will.

My ocd

Intrusive thoughts- for me it’s like thinking something that can get extremely bad and trying no to. Since you try not to you think about it more. Like me telling you don’t think of a yellow dog, you’re going to think about it more, it goes in a cycle and makes you feel like pulling your hair out.

Obsessions- getting fixated on an idea or thought and not being able to stop. Kind of like you loving your favourite band and don’t stop thinking about them but mine will be over something like not counting right so have do do it again.

Compulsion- for me this is when I NEED to do something and I feel I have to. Along with the obsession and intrusive thoughts it’s not good. I can’t get the thought out of my mind until I act on it.

Routine- well for me I follow certain routines every day. It’s just things I feel I need to do to make my day go right.

Rituals- this is also things I have to do but it could be like touching something 11 times it’s not like a routine.

I’m not saying this is what happens to everyone, I’m just trying to explain what mine is like