So I’ve had a really bad time lately can’t do anything without compulsions and thoughts. It’s so frustrating.
People are really pissing me off saying OCD isn’t a real disorder! Sorry but it’s obsessive compulsive DISORDER! I would never wish OCD on anyone because sometimes it made me feel so shit I wondered why I was even continuing going through it. Then some people who are not educated at all on the disorder say it’s not real and it’s all in someone’s head! Well sorry but just because it isn’t a physical illness that you can see with your eyes it doesn’t mean that every one who claims they have OCD are all lying! You can’t see the wind but you know that it’s there! Some people need to get educated because after someone with OCD has gone through all of what they have they don’t need to go through your shit telling them that what they have been SUFFERING with isn’t real.
READ A BOOK before you make pathetic judgements or before you say something stupid like ‘oh I need straighten my pens OCD’ trivialising a real important condition that leads as far as suicide for people.
Seriously people need to educate themselves on it or don’t talk about something you know nothing about.
The thing that I find so strange is how I could have so many beliefs forcing me to do compulsions EVEN THOUGH I understand that my beliefs are not really logical.
My compulsions occur because of the beliefs I have (and I have so many I’ve lost count) however I know that me acting on my compulsions cannot in any way shape or form effect something unrelated but my brain still thinks what if…
What if it does happen this one time and I could have stopped it by doing my routines. It’s a constant battle because you know that what you’re thinking can’t happen just because you don’t complete your routine but imagine if it did and I didn’t do anything to stop it.
However many times I tried to stop this awful cycle I always think what if…
It’s an ongoing battle! so far even though I can see the light at the end of the tunnel but haven’t made it yet, that doesn’t mean you never will.
It’s so hard to completely stop acting on compulsions. I can be doing so well for so long, however as soon as something bad happens I immediately resort back to my OCD.
I don’t understand why! Maybe it’s to ‘fix’ the problems as that’s what I used to believe and base my OCD around. Maybe I just need to get used it not going back!
But it seems whenever you take steps forward you always need to go back a few times! Maybe to check the path or pick up something along the way.
Basically what I’m saying is DONT GIVE UP sometimes it’s so so hard! Others it’s not but on them bad days just remember you will get through it!